Brad is the Youth Co-ordinator at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Lindsay. He has travelled to World Youth Day numerous times. His difficult life experiences have strengthened his faith.

PANE VINO IN LINDSAY. . . 5:30 p.m.

Fettucini Ai Gamberetti and Crème Brule.

THE CONVERSATION

Brad is humility itself. He is soft spoken and I lean in to hear him against the din of a Christmas party beside us.  He is thoughtful about his faith and very considerate.  This is a man whose life and active relationship with the Church has taught him more than many people have to learn about surrender.

Brad comes from a strong Catholic family.  He and his two brothers all practice the faith their parents raised them in. Part of that upbringing involved completing most of his schooling in Catholic Schools. He says, “There’s less reason to be afraid and less fights in a Catholic School.”

In Brad’s last year of high school he became interested in attending World Youth Day in Rome. He says, “I thought it would be neat to go there. I’d never really travelled before. We go in contact with one of the organizers and fundraised for seventeen youth for our high school to go. There were 2.5 million youth there.”

Pope John Paul had created the even in 1984 and it is still taking place every third year.  Brad moved away from home to study engineering after his first World Youth Day experience. It was not an easy year.

Brad says, “I was still going to Church, but not really taking my faith seriously. I was making bad choices.” He did finish the year and then took a year off to work. The struggles he was having led to a month of hospitalization and a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

Brad’s family was very supportive. When he was released he attended World Youth Day in Toronto and it was his mother who helped him with the crowds so that he eventually found himself feet away from the Pope’s car.  He adds, “Most of my friends know. I think once you explain to them that it’s not being a split personality. They don’t really think much about it.”

Brads return to health involved a number of things. He worked with doctors to find the right medication and stresses how important that is. He began to volunteer to build his confidence.  He is very aware of health sleep routines, the need for physical exercise and the importance of limiting alcohol.

His decisions around faith were more difficult. The delusions he suffered as part of his illness were based in religion. He struggled with whether or not being religious was part of his illness.  He concludes that “religion kind of helps me get out of myself a little bit. Everybody believes something. You have to believe in something so that you can be happy and hope. I tried putting my faith into other things. I’ve tried and I’m really unhappy if I live any other way.”

Brad shares his story in the even that it might help others, acknowledging that “there is so much suffering out there. I hope that anything I might say could help them in their life.” The impact of his experiences on his own life is clear. He says, “It makes me open minded. I can probably sympathize with more people. “

There is sincerity to Brad, grounded in his commitment to being as non-judgmental as possible. He has studied philosophy and has done the soul searching that his health and his faith require. His harshest judgments seem reserved for himself.

When he returned to university he admits “The lifestyle I was living wasn’t very healthy.” He returned to World Youth Day which was occurring in Sydney that year and realized the power of spending time with people who had a common faith.

His group had the opportunity to visit South Korea . He says, “They were really hospitable. A lot of it was challenging. It was such a different culture that we really came together. We were nervous about not really knowing where we were going and not a lot of people spoke English so that really brought us together as a group.”

Brad is now looking forward to World Youth Day in Madrid and is clear in his commitment to his faith. He explains his relationship with his spiritual director saying, “You’re supposed to share your whole life with them. It’s brutal honesty. If you’re holding back things you’re ashamed of, it holds you back from connecting with other people.”

The commitment Brad has to his faith and the self-reflection that demands of him is evident. While never critical of the Church, he sees an opportunity for it to provide even more support for people dealing with addictions and mental health.

Of his current role in the Church, Brad explains, “A big part of my job is trying to get youth interested in the Church. They might say they’re Catholic, but the might not be practicing their faith. My job is to make being part of the Church fun for them.” He is certainly cognizant that congregations are aging, but values the role that the Catholic Church can play in a changing world.

So, it is no surprise that Brad is a student of both philosophy and science. There is no contradiction for him in being a faithful Catholic trained in math and physics. He remembers, “There’s one math that’s all about infinity. It’s very philosophical. They talked about groups of infinity and how one group of infinity is larger than another. I am fascinated by how everything is relative. If time and space are relative, God is outside of time and space. It’s not so hard to believe if science already says that everything is relative.”

Brad has certainly had different experiences than most, in both time and space. The comfort he finds in the Church is clear, as is his commitment to asking himself even the most uncomfortable questions and resolving them according to his faith. Ultimately, he says, “I think we are all looking for the same thing.” It is a special few that look as unflinchingly as he does.

STILL DIGESTING

Brad is so brave with his story that I want to protect him. I am afraid that we do not live in a world where it is easy or always safe to disclose that you have schizophrenia to a stranger you meet in a restaurant.  It is a bold statement for a member of any community to whisper to someone who will write about it.

Brad does not seem fearless, which makes the statement all the more powerful. He is a quiet person who does not seem prone to noisy declarations. He would be the last person to trumpet his accomplishments and may be the most unassuming person I have eaten with this year.

If anything, he is so intent on practicing his faith that his view seems turned inward to his own soul searching. I don’t imagine it was easy for him to meet a stranger in a restaurant and I wish we lived in a world where it was easy for any person, quiet or otherwise, high profile in their community or not, to talk about their mental health.

When Brad was unwell, social situations and crowds were difficult. He talks about having to relearn everything as he became healthy again and I appreciate his insight. His thoughtful, self-aware manner is a sharp contrast to the fiery proclamations of evangelists and a testament to his own wellbeing.  He is not waving any flags, just trying to live a good life according to the tenants of the Catholic Church.

He is working on living his faith. While valuing the counsel of others, it is clear that he holds himself to a very high standard. It is his love of the Church and commitment to honestly engaging with suffering that help him live well with the difficulties he has faced.

He is aware of the attention the media plays to the mistakes of men, especially men of the Catholic Church. Without saying so much, it is also clear that he sees the value that people, all people, bring to the Church. Far from hiding behind the Church, he is of the world, living so close to ground at times and aspiring to a space so heavenward that there could be no time or space for throwing stones.