Two secondary school students speak candidly about the pressures they are feeling and the importance of mental health.

TIM HORTONS in OSHAWA . . . 12:00 p.m.

Bagels and Cream Cheese, Donuts and Coffee.

THE CONVERSATION

For the past decade, the people who have had the greatest impact on me have been students and their families. Today was a chance to connect with two exceptional students who continue to grapple with the pressures of growing up and a sincere desire to impact and be impacted by the people around them.

To teach in the public education system is a greatest privilege. There is virtually nowhere else in our society that one can be so sure to encounter a full cross section of society, albeit a segment ghettoized by age. I can’t imagine that there is a better place for adults, especially those who have spent their lives in school, to learn about the world they live in, if they dare.

The system isn’t perfect any more than our society or governments are; but for all of the things it is still trying to figure out how to offer to students, the education system affords enormous opportunities to those who work in it.  The opportunity I am most grateful for, and most exhausted by, is the sheer volume of meaningful contacts with people.

If there is one thing I know for sure, it is that our young people need us. They need us to look beyond ourselves and our systems to see the people they are and the people they are trying to become. In a world that moves at a dizzying pace, they are looking for some firm ground to stand on. At a developmental stage when they are becoming independent of their parents, they are looking to the other adults in their lives to provide the mentoring that builds on what foundations they received at home.

As I have said to many a concerned parent, teachers, coaches and employers often get the best parts of adolescence. The young man and young woman I spoke with are as passionate and candid as we expect young people to be. They are also as eager to please.

They worry about the peer pressure that they feel requires them to take harmful risks in order to be accepted. They rely on their friends to talk to them honestly about the issues they are experiencing, when adults in support roles too frequently speak from a clinical or textbook perspective.

They agree that mental health is “huge” for young people. The young man says, “The world has changed so much and mental health has been underemphasized because so many people don’t understand it. I think they should have a lot more support. I think parents should be educated.”

The young woman is taking an extra year to finish high school and the pressure to decide what she will do next is so great she tears up talking about her uncertainty about what she’d like to do next. She says, “I just have everything shot at me lightening speed. I can’t get a hold of anything.”

They agree that the world is changing at an ever increasing pace. They regularly see their friends’ Facebook status updated at one or two in the morning to indicate that they have just completed their homework.

Despite the increasing demands of the curriculum, the young man says, “There’s a course that should be offered in high school – mental health. You give us so much for post secondary and for jobs, give us something for life.”

They agree that anxiety about the future is one of many issues they see their peers grappling with. They say that instead of wondering what high school holds, young people are wondering what the world holds.

It is a world where they feel they are creating a new template. They note that “The generation above ours was in a very different predicament than we are now.” They feel that they are finding their own way and it can be frightening indeed.

STILL DIGESTING

The voices of young people are extraordinary if we choose to listen. They are passionate and direct. And youth has a certainty that many of us miss as we grow older. That certainty can be dangerous, if it is certainty that the world is a scary and hopeless place.

No matter how many times people confide in you that they are considering taking their own life, it has an impact each and every time. And while the impact is intense no matter who is making the confession, suicidal intentions are particularly alarming when voiced by young people.

Both of the former students who I ate with today have come to me in the past concerned that they would take their own lives. It is a brave thing to do. And we need to be the kinds of teachers, parents, friends, mentors, neighbours, family members and people that others can come to when they need guidance towards the supports that will keep them safe.

There is no doubting that we live in a world filled with pressures both real and exacerbated by our own thinking. There is also no doubt that mental health issues are as real and pressing as other issues that may seem easier to talk about.  If we are sincere about being impactful, part of our work is surely to learn about our own mental health and to teach our communities about caring for our individual and collective mental health.

It is who our young people need and want us to be.  And we can show each other the way.