Ashifa is a physician and film maker. She is currently working on a project entitled Hope Hunters.

ASHIFA’S HOME IN TORONTO . . . 6:30 p.m.

Harira Soup, Squash Fritters, Humus, Lavash and Cookies

THE DISCUSSION

Ashifa JIwa is not so cynical that she hasn’t gone hunting for hope. She is a physician creating her own schedule through contract work in Toronto, Bruce Grey County and Poplar Hill, a remote community in Northern Ontario. She is also trying to catch hope on film through her project Hope Hunter.

The balance is as purposeful. Ashifa says, “I’m very intentional about creating work life balance. I think work really emotionally drains me. The stories are hard to hear day in and day out. When you’re working with impoverished populations, most of the things don’t stem from medical issues.”

The story that is harder to find is the one that will connect the interviews she has conducted into a documentary film about hope. She has travelled the world talking with people about hope and the possibilities for humanity. Like many things, the project was born of necessity.

During her residency, Ashifa explains, “I had a bit of an existential crisis. I’d gone to Africa for a rotation. I came back to go straight to Inuvik. “ The flight involved a stop in Edmonton which she used to purchase a much needed winter coat.

She was appalled by the contrast between where she had been and what she saw at West Edmonton Mall.  She says, “To see the excess. To see people still walking around complaining and with scowls on their faces despite having ore than they could ever possibly want.”

There was also a depressing rotation in an Intensive Care Unit that had her questioning what people do with the time they have . It was post 9-11 and there were troops in Iraq again. Ashifa says, “It all just came together to make me feel really hopeless.”

“We had everything we could possibly want and all we are doing is entertaining ourselves. It made me really cynical. I remain cynical to this day. It’s just less palpable. I think I just felt really jaded by where the world was going. I just didn’t really feel our overall impact as humans was very positive on the earth and on each other.”

She confesses, “It is hard to be compassionate when you feel like that. So much of our resource goes into fixing problems we create.” Many of the illnesses she treats can be linked back to lifestyle and social choices that fly in the face of the information that is available.  Her youthful idealism that knowledge alone would prompt people to action, was replaced by a frustration that people, including herself, did not always have the will to act.

Ashifa explains, “I think cynicism can be paralyzing and it can be motivating. I’m trying to be motivated. It’s what you do with it. I’m working towards doing good things with it.” The work she enjoys most is her role as a dedicated locum for Poplar Hill, a remote First Nations community in Northern Ontario.

“Even when I’m here, I still provide care from a distance through the nurses there. I go back a week a month. I also like it because it keeps me connected with the community while I’m gone. I know who I need to see when I get back. You feel more like their doctor than parachuting in and out.”

The different jobs are part of the balance Ashifa works at creating. Most recently she has orrganized her commitments to make time to work on the film. She says, “I was surprised by how many people were hopeful. I think the majority do have hope. Some people actually thought the world was okay the way it was.”

The film project is helping Ashifa reconnect with some of the optimism she felt as a university student and the future involves starting a family, an act that both Jen and Ashifa can acknowledge as hopeful. The parenting style they most admire is intentional and thoughtful.

They already have plans to ensure that Jen can be at home to parent, putting childrearing far ahead of acquiring material goods.  Ashifa says, “I think if I could find a small town that I really liked living in, I would be happy to work there with only a week away.”

Ashifa admits, “We do have some concerns about raising a child in a small town, being a same sex couple and being an interracial couple. It is more of an issue when a child becomes school age.” She also acknowledges that “it’s nice that we can be married and have a family.”

As parents, they will continue to work at seeing the world as it is. “Part of it is being willing to celebrate small victories. We almost disempower ourselves by not celebrating when we do get empowered and do something that makes a difference. I think that’s dangerous and I don’t want to teach our kids that.”

Ashifa may not want to call it hope, but it is a decidedly intentional response, one worth catching on film.

STILL DIGESTING

Most of us would agree that if we were lost, we’d like to be looked for. I would argue that we forget to apply this to others when we turn away rather than look at the causes of suffering and our role in it. Like Ashifa, I think there is value in what we learn from suffering and I agree that we court disaster when we feel entitled to live unencumbered by any type of discomfort.

It is clear that the discomfort experienced by others still enrages Ashifa, particularly when it is as preventable as so many of the injustices in the world are. Like Ashifa, I remember a time when I was sure that the world was the way it was because people simply did not know what was going on. When knowledge alone fails to prompt action, it is only natural to look at larger context of our values.

It is from this place that Ashifa went looking for hope, a bold and rather optimistic action to take in response to her disillusionment. While she is not sure anything will make a difference, she knows that she must do something. The alternative of doing nothing is simply unacceptable.

So she continues to act. It may not be born of the hope of a young activist discovering the world for the first time, but of the wisdom earned through experience.  The results could be just as impactful. There’s a tenacity and commitment to digging in for the long haul.

It is not the kind of hope that can be packaged to fly of shelves in convenient little parcels, but it’s a kind of fight that knows we must choose not to give up. Even if she finds her hope is not resilient, she knows that people are. We will keep looking because if nothing else the alternative is unacceptable.