THE DINNER

6:00 p.m.

B & L Country Kitchen in Uxbridge

Banquet Burger Plain and Fries with Gravy for Richie.  Onion Rings for me.

THE DISCUSSION

Richie is just into his thirties, but he has been making a profit for well over fifteen years.  If you were one of his friends, you would know that the profit margin could be much greater.   He is so notorious for refusing to charge that friends are almost afraid to ask him to do the work he is so skilled at.

Richie has it all in perspective.  He says, “It doesn’t bother me to work lots. I wish I could say I always liked going to work. The majority of the time I can say I would never give up what I have.”  He doesn’t think he’ll “ever do just one thing.  It’s nice to be versatile.  It’s easier for business and it keeps [him] excited.”  He fits the work for friends into the time he spends waiting to get approvals from other clients.

Richie sees small business as an end in itself saying, “I’m busy because I’m small.  It’s good because big companies are actually hiring smaller companies.  A big company’s prices get so high.   It’s great money for me, but for a big company it’s not enough to make payroll.”  Even his fiancé would hire him, arguing with her boss that he was the best person for the job and that they were both professional enough to complete projects regardless of what happened to the relationship.  It is no surprise that the relationship has flourished; Richie has always looked for someone who would “never make me feel bad about working.  If there is something she can do, she’ll come and help.”

Richie’s element is the outdoors.  But he has not been seeing very much of it this year.  His schedule as a graphic designer can be so intense that at one point this summer he spent forty-eight hours on Vancouver Island, flew home for twenty-four and then left for three days in Halifax.  The locations can be so remote that he is traveling in bush planes to get to boat launches to finally travel to his destination.

A busy work schedule is a given for Richie, but his “tumultuous fall” is new.  He says he is “usually so good about keeping everything in check”, but his father’s health problems make it hard to focus.  So he reminds himself “to focus on the little things.”  He says, “ I have to deal with family stuff right now and keep my business going.  I have to stop worrying about the things I can’t do and do the things I can.”

And there is a lot that Richie can do.  He says, “I’ve always liked helping people out.  I’ve always had the opportunity to do the things I want to do.  I like to see people do good things, especially when they finally get to do the things they really want to do.”

So Richie is creating a wedding photography business with his fiancé to help her pursue her dreams of working full time in photography. After a long search, they have hired a fledgling photographer with a good eye to shoot their own wedding. And Richie understands why his best friend had to fly home early to take care of his new family, even though it cut his time with Richie to just an hour.  Richie has even figured out a way to mail the Thanksgiving wedding photos he stepped in at the last minute to shoot so that the bride will not be able to insist on paying him.  And he pays for my dinner, even though he manages this website free of cost.  It is certainly his own way of doing business.

STILL DIGESTING

Richie’s fiancé need not worry that Richie has literally sucked my toes, not last night but many years ago when the tradition of Thursday nights at B & L originated.  My brother, Richie and I were bouldering (i.e. training for rock climbing) in a garage with a concrete floor that the woodstove did little to penetrate.  Climbers push their feet into the smallest shoes possible to limit the area of their feet that needs to make contact with the holds.  It was winter and I had been standing on the concrete for 2 hours with my climbing shoes binding my feet.  We soon realized that the strange sensation in my feet was a result of frostbite.  Ever practical, my brother and Richie knew that they could not rub my feet for fear of damaging them.  So each of them put a foot in their mouths and my toes recovered nicely.  It is important to note that my feet had just come out of the same climbing shoes that my students refused to even touch for fear that the smell might stay on their hands.

So in some respects I know Richie pretty well despite the fact that I now go years at a time without seeing him.  What I did not understand until last night was how intentionally Richie tries to share the wealth.   He is quick to credit others with helping him achieve his business success, but he was the only 16 year old I knew who ran a business, regardless of the support their parents offered.  As quickly as he deflects credit for his own success, he adamantly refuses to take credit for that of other people.   Much like his parents he knows that anyone can offer encouragement and many people can throw some money at new projects, what takes much more skill is to support someone in creating an opportunity that they can run with.   There is no way to adequately thank someone for that kind of trust.

So I watch Richie leave with the familiar lump in my throat that is normally reserved for goodbyes with my brother and sister.  He reminds me of something a friend’s mother once told me.  She said that if you are ever single you should pick out the person that everyone is looking at and try to take home that person’s best friend.  My brother used to have a way of making sure that everyone was looking at him, but nobody with any sense ever missed Richie.  Cal is the one who finally sees what he needs and offers it.  I hope the two of you have a wonderful time planning and celebrating your wedding.  And I wish your dad the speediest and fullest recovery so that he can celebrate with you.